my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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