their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize