apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
