the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
