I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
