It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
