Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
