I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck appropriateness.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
