I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
