i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
