You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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