Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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