Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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