WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
