What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
