...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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