I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
