SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
