i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
