i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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