she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
