Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
