I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
