Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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