I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
