the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize