Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
