Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
