It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We're facebook friends in real life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
