At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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