i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
