Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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