You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
