He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
