he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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