it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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