Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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