The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
