sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
