I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
