If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
