he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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