all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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