How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
