Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
