Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize