did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
