I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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