All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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