My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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