It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
