nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
