If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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