Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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