I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
