So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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