he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize