Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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