Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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