I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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