I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
