Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
