yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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