To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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