The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
