i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
50% drunk capacity currently
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
