I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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